Sissy…..it’s hitting me and it hurts .. I m selfish cuz I don’t want you to go. Huh my baby boy and tell him how much I love him . Save me a spot right between you two

Sissy, it’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that we will never again have girls night watching movies laughing till we cried and Sleeping in till noon.
We had our moments good and bad but the one constant was that we were just a part of each other, . Losing you forever is like an amputation of my heart.. it hurts and the only thing positive I can think of is that you get to hug tanner for me and he can show you the ropes.
I will regret every moment wasted for the rest of my life and hold every memory of you in my heart . I will think of you everyday , tonite all of our hundreds of memories play in my head like a movie , it’s a painful GIFT, the boys as they were babies, the cabin at Halloween that year when we went to Sandpoint and rocked that town the entire weekend , the laughter , the tears, the life … we grew up as a unit… the thought of doing it without you feels abnormal..
No matter what even if we were spatting I knew you loved me and I loved you, so take care of tanner for me and I got the boys.
I am not going to say goodbye because I ll see you soon…..save me a spot sissy , I love you farther than the moon……Nikki