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07/25/2000 — 12/07/2021
From Kennewick , WA | Born in Templeton, CA
On December 7, 2021, Ashton Gage Vaughn of Kennewick, WA passed away unexpectedly at the age of 21 years old.
Those who knew Ashton, even just a little, lost a shining light in their lives.
Ashton will be missed everyday by his parents Jeff and Emily Vaughn; brothers, William and Quinton; mother, Amy Lewis; grandmothers, Leisa Vaughn and Adele Lewis and numerous aunts, uncles, cousins, and many great friends. He was preceded in death by his grandfather, Joe Lewis.
Ashton was born on July 25, 2000 in Templeton, CA but called Tri-Cities, WA home. He attended Sunset Elementary school, Highland Middle school and Kamiakin High school. For the past year, Ashton worked at Jimmy Johns on Clearwater. He loved the job and many of his co-workers.
Growing up Ashton showed a passion for sports and music. He loved playing basketball, baseball, and football. His favorite football team was the Minnesota Vikings and for basketball, well, it was the Toronto Raptors hands down. He loved his family and always enjoyed fight nights watching UFC.
His love for music shined bright as he grew older, whether it be singing in the choir at school or jamming to his favorite bands, he was always listening to something. His family and friends would also say that he LOVED playing video games. In fact, often, family would find him in his room gaming all hours of the night! He enjoyed reading and he really loved Anime. His favorite movie was Avatar. His sense of humor and sort of “smart-assey” jokes will be missed by all that knew him. Ashton’s love for his family, friends, food, and music is what made him smile. So, the next time you are up late playing video games, jamming to your favorite song or joking around with your family and friends look up, smile, and know that Ashton is watching over you.
Ashton, your life was a blessing, your memory a treasure. You are loved beyond words and missed beyond measure. We love you, always and forever.
You mean more to me that you’ll ever know, I miss you. I keep those gifts you gave me after all this time. Your memory and your kind words keep me going today and everyday. I hope you’re happy I know it was rough just know I’m here for you in every lifetime. I love you gracias por todo mi vida
im sorry i was late getting to this, i’ve been busy lately getting ready to go to school in september. but that’s doesn’t mean i wasn’t thinking about you at all, it’s still so crazy to me that it’s been a year and 8 months ago yesterday since you left this earth. i really miss you more than anything in the world, i still wish i could see you again even if it was only for a day. i hope you’re happy sweetheart, you deserve nothing but love and happiness. thank you for always being by my side, even if i can’t see you physically, i can feel you with me as i live on for you. you’re such a special soul who i will always cherish in my heart, literally my heart is yours please take care of it. i keep thinking about all of the good times we used to have, i’d give anything to have another good memory with you, whether it was something so eventful or something small. it’s been hard lately not having you here, i’ve been having some health issues that i’ve been trying to manage. around 5 or 6 weeks ago i went to urgent care because i have gallstones, then i had to go back to urgent care about a week ago because i have a fungal infection. im okay but just in pain, but i’ve felt you with me through it all so thank you. i feel your love for me every single day, i know you worry about me, but i promise you i’ll be okay. please take care of yourself sweetie, i will see you soon. i’m sending you kisses, eat them for me okay? i love you with my whole entire heart that you carry. 🖤🕊️
Happy (belated) 23rd birthday. I’ve missed you and I love you; the words I wish I said to you the night before you passed. You had recently come back to everyone after almost 2 months of being gone and the night of the 6th all I could think about before falling asleep was how grateful I was you were talking to us all again. I had thought about sending you a message about how much I appreciated and loved you. But I had already been having a hard time sleeping and had a final exam and my drivers test the next morning so I thought I best just keep trying to fall asleep. Then on the 8th I found out. Ever since I’ve just thought what if. I know I shouldn’t think like that but if I had just taken 2 minutes to let you know I was thinking about you and loved you what would’ve changed… At the very least you could’ve been reminded that you had me, if nothing else… I just wish I had the chance to meet you in real life. It was always something I’d dreamt and hoped for. There’s so much that was never said or done between us, I only wish I had more time with you and that these memories of us weren’t just mine now. I wish that you had more time, though no amount of time would’ve ever been enough, you were just too good of a person. I find a hole in myself shaped perfectly for you, where we can just sit on our 10 hour calls like we used to and talk about whatever. So much has happened, I just wish I could tell you. Thank you for the great 5 years that I knew you, nothing will ever be like it. You we’re like an older brother to me. I wouldn’t be half the person I am now if I hadn’t met you. I love you Asher.
happy birthday to you my beautiful guardian angel, you would be 23 today if you were still here on earth. i wish you could’ve been here to celebrate your birthday, you deserve so much and im sorry you didn’t always get everything you wanted or hoped for. i wish i could do something special for you, to see that smiling face once more because seeing you happy always made me so happy. it’s not fair that you can’t be here for your special day, it just isn’t. but i made sure to constantly keep you in my thoughts today, even if i had to hold back the tears and work today, i still kept you in my thoughts and made sure to do something special for you afterwards in honor of you. birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries are so much harder now because of the circumstances. it’s hard to live with that fact knowing i can never talk to you or see you ever again in this life, but i have hope that i’ll see you again in the next life i look forward to it. i just hope you’re doing okay wherever you may be now, that you’re happy that you’re resting easy, i hope you’re celebrating your birthday with others who love you in a beautiful place. please be there for not just me, but for your family and closest friends, we’re all having a hard day today because we miss you so dearly. i love you with everything in me, don’t ever forget it and i know i won’t forget the love you have for me. i miss you so much more than you know, there’s never a day when i don’t think of you. i blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? i’ll see you soon my love. 🖤🕊️
good evening my beautiful angel, i hope you’re resting easy. im thinking of you extra today, well this month actually. it’s been 19 months ago since you left this earth, and on the 25th of this month you would be 23 years old. it’s definitely hard knowing that fact, that i won’t ever get to spend another birthday with you. i’ll always make sure to spend it for you, do something special each year in honor of you. i really truly miss you more than my heart can handle, it hurts everyday not being able to see you on earth anymore. i’d seriously give anything to see you again, i need you more than you know. i hope you’re with your family in this time too, not just me, i know it must be hard for them this month too. i’ll make sure to be there for them as well, but for me please be there for them too let them know you’re there. you know that you’re so loved? your family, your friends, and i love you more than you could possibly know, we’d give anything to see you once more. all we want is for you to be happy, i have a feeling you are in a way, and im sure you miss us dearly too. you take care of yourself wherever you may be now, and I’ll try to do the same on earth. it’s been hard though not having you here with me when it’s been difficult on my end, i’ve been having some health issues lately. i found out that i have stones in my gallbladder on wednesday, it’s been causing me upper abdominal pain for weeks now. im going to see if i can get surgery for it, if im able to will you please be there for me? it would give me a lot of comfort if you were, to make it known that you’re here. anyway i’ll let you get back to your rest, i need to rest myself. goodnight
sweet angel of mine, i love you with every piece of me. i blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? i’ll see you soon. 🖤
Hi my sweet angel how are you? i hope you’re resting peacefully, you deserve to feel at ease and happy. it doesn’t feel real that you left this earth 18 months ago today, or a year and a half is another way of saying it. it feels like so much time has passed, but at the same time it hasn’t. it feels like time for the most part moves by slowly, that nothing ever changes. with how life is going, with how i feel, none of it has changed since you left. i wish i could tell you how much i love you and how much i miss you every single day, i really hope you do know the level of love i have for you really is. i recently got a tattoo in honor of you, it’s been long overdue, but i found someone who could do it for me. it’s the radical $uicide album cover from $uicideboy$, it’s the one that you wanted to get for your first tattoo. i got it for you, since you died before you could even get it yourself. i wanted to do that for you for such a long time now, so im really happy that i could after some time has passed. i really wanted to show you the amount of love i have for you still, how proud i am of you everyday, even if i can’t see you again in this life i’ll never not be proud of you ever. please take care of yourself wherever you may be now, i really hope i can see you again soon, maybe in the next life or something. i love you with every piece of my heart, even the part that’s missing which you keep. i blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? continue resting my love. 🖤🕊️
17 months ago today you left this earth, i cannot begin to tell you how much i wish you were still here every single day. life truly doesn’t make sense without you in it, i mean on one hand i feel as if i have my life together, but on the other hand i need my best friend with me and you’re not. you never leave my mind or my heart, i think about you everyday and that will never change. even with all of this time thats passed since you’ve been gone, theres still so much love i have for you and i try to let you know in whatever way i can daily so you don’t forget it. life has been kindof kicking my ass lately and im sure you’ve seen it, but i’ll be okay i have to be right? it just feels weird not having you by my side, i mean im going to college in a few months and im excited but scared. i always imagined you being there for me in my journey, and id be there for you with whatever you wanted to do in your journey of life. i mean you are but its just in a different way, and that’s okay. just remember that everyone in your life loves you with everything they have and want the best for you, we just want you to be happy wherever you may be now. i really hope you are happy, i want to believe that you are. if i ever need you while im at school more than normal, i’ll look up at the stars and just know you’re there. i love you more and i miss you more than words can be expressed, i blew you a kiss eat it for me okay? i’ll talk to you again soon and i hope to see you again soon. 🖤
happy easter my love, i hope you had a beautiful day full of happiness. how are you? i miss you so much. today would’ve also been our 4 year anniversary, so happy anniversary. i made sure to celebrate it properly after i got off of work today, it just doesn’t feel the same without you here with me, but i know you were with me. i hope you know how much love i have for you no matter where we are or what we’re both doing or who we’re around, you’ll always have such a special place in my heart. i wish i could describe how much i miss you and want you here with me still, but i want you to be happy so i couldn’t ever ask that of you if there was ever a chance you could come back, i want what’s best for you. just know that even though im busy with life, doing things that fulfill me, hanging out with good people, that you’re still on my mind you never leave it. you take care of yourself until i see you again you hear me? i want you to take care of yourself, do good for yourself please. i love you with every fiber of my being. i blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? i will see you soon i promise. 🖤
it’s officially been 16 months ago today since you left this earth, there are no words that i could describe on how much i love you and miss you everyday. how are you? i hope you’re happy, you’re around beautiful things and beautiful people, that you’re learning and growing everyday wherever you are. it’s going to be so hard to get through what would’ve been our 4 year anniversary in 2 days, also getting through my 23rd birthday on the 18th alone again. im going to try to make those days full of love and happiness, not focusing on the sadness of it all. i wish you were here and i wish we could be together now, but i know i’ll see you again soon. i wish i could tell you more on what’s going on with me, not a whole lot has been happening to me. i’ve just been working a lot trying to save money for school, been trying to hangout with people more, still grieving but i’ll be doing that until the day i die. one last thing that happened was that i moved back into my dads, i wasn’t in a good situation at my old place, so i’m staying with him until i go to college. i wish i could know for sure how you’re doing, it hurts me not knowing. i really hope you’re doing well, that’s all i want for you. anyway im gonna get some sleep, i have to work tomorrow. goodnight i love you so much more than you’ll ever know, and i miss you beyond words. i blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? I’ll see you soon. 🖤
how has it already been 15 months ago since you passed away? i miss you more than you’ll ever know my love, i always wish that i could still see you everyday, i wish i could talk to you i need my best friend/partner. i hope you’re doing okay today, that you’re being taken care of wherever you are. i still think about you after all this time, i don’t always talk about you everyday like i used to because it’s too painful, but you never leave my mind or my heart. i wish you could see all of the progress im making since you’ve been gone, but im sure you can see it and im not aware of it. im moving up at my job, im officially a drink runner now and i actually worked for the first time on my own today, it went good. i already told you awhile back that i’ll be attending college to pursue my career in the culinary arts industry, i officially attend school in 6 months which the course is 18 months long, but i know i can do it that i need to do this for myself. i finally built up the strength to accept your death a little more than how i used to before, i learned how to let go just a little bit but still hold onto you just enough to let you know how much love i have for you still that i won’t forget you or the time we had together. i actually have been talking to someone for the past few months, but ive known him since kindergarten and we’ve been talking as friends for 2 years before we started anything more. i really never thought that id see the day that id find room in my heart for someone else, but if you were still here i think you’d really like him he’s a very nice guy very respectful. that’s what you wanted for me was to find someone who will love me for me, care for me, respect me, etc. he fits all of that and im really grateful for him. he came into my life in a time where i didn’t know i needed him, and i did the same thing for him came into his life in a time where he needed me. anyway he’s coming home tonight from being in the navy for 4 years, but i won’t see him for another month which is okay. i hope you know that no matter what happens with this person, that i’ll always love you and will never forget you no matter how long im on this earth for. you’re still my person i hope you know that, but it’s a little different now which is okay, it’s time for me to create new memories with this new person as i cherish the memories had with you. i can’t wait to see you again in the next life, i really hope that you’re happy that you’ve met some amazing people and have seen amazing things wherever you are now, that’s all i ever wanted for you was to be happy no matter what. you’re still my sweet angel, please take care of yourself until i see you again. i love you with all of my heart, i blew you a kiss eat it for me okay? i think im going to sleep soon, ive been sick for about a week now so i need my rest and so do you. i will see you soon i promise. 🖤
it’s been officially 14 months ago today since you’ve left this earth, oh how i miss you dearly. how are you love? i hope you’re doing okay, that you’re happy wherever you are now. i still think about you to this day, you never leave my mind or my heart. i wish you were still here, even after some time has passed nothing makes sense. life is just not the same without you here, there’s always something missing. i’ve been coming across to our old pictures and videos from when we were together, i still have them to this day and im so happy i get to keep them with me forever to relive the memories. i miss your smart ass comments all the time, whenever i get sad thinking about you being gone, i wish you could make a smart ass comment to cheer me up and make me laugh. i miss experiencing everything with you, especially the small things. i miss having our little movie nights together, when we’d go get snacks at the gas station by your house, then come back and watch movies all night. i miss being goofy with you, when we’d send each other memes all the time or when you’d chase me around the house like if we were little kids and tickle me. i miss talking to you, i wish i could see you and talk to you, there’s so much that you’ve missed out on that i need to tell you about. it’s hard to put it into words here, but i think it’ll be easier to whenever i see you again. i especially miss our late night talks whenever we’d lay facing each other cuddling, those were the kinds of talks and moments i still cherish to this day. you are still to this day my soulmate, the love of my life, my best friend and i need you. i love you with every piece of my heart, i miss you every single day. it still hurts like the day you left, and i don’t think it’ll ever go away. im sending you kisses your way, eat them for me okay? rest easy my beautiful angel, i’ll see you soon. 🖤
i hate that time is moving so fast without you here, it’s already been 13 months since you left. i miss you like crazy, i wish i could still see you and tell you everything happening in my life. my heart has been so heavy recently not being able to see you or talk to you or touch you, but i think it’s gotten a tiny bit easier. i hope you’re doing okay right now, i hope you know how much i love you and how much i think of you everyday. life just truly isn’t the same without you in it, and it’s scary to think that ive continued on for you for 13 months. my heart is just hurting and it always will, but im trying to learn how to manage it a little bit more this year. you’re still the light that shines within, even if you’re not physically here, i still feel how good you are in my heart. i want you to know that im so proud of you everyday, that im not angry, that i understand how you felt and will carry the pain you had for you until it’s my turn to go. i can’t wait to see you again, i hope it’s not a long time from now. you’re the love of my life that will never change, i think of you when i see a sunrise/sunset or when i see the moon and stars. i think of you when i see the color red or when i see something you enjoyed when you were here. i think of you when i visit the places we used to go, or the people we knew. i mainly think of you in my memories, i wish you weren’t a memory because you deserve to be here, but id rather have that than not have you at all. i love you with everything i have, im sending kisses your way eat them for me okay? i will see you soon. 🖤
Merry Christmas baby it’s been a hard day for sure, but ive been trying to make it a good day with my mom and my sisters. i hope you’re having a good christmas wherever you are now, surrounded by so many people who love you and full of happiness. i heard from emily today, it was really good to speak to her i miss her, jeff, and william so much right now. i miss you more than anything you could ever imagine, the holidays are just not the same without you here. i don’t even want to celebrate them anymore, if it wasn’t for my family i don’t think i would be. it’s been so hard not having you here this past year, this month has been so hard especially the past couple days, i just wish you could be here with me even if it’s only for a day i would give anything to see you again. i just hope you’re being taken care of by not just the people around you, but that you’re taking care of yourself too. i miss spoiling you on christmas, i always got you everything you asked for, even if it was expensive at times, that didn’t matter to me because i knew how happy it made you so it made me very happy seeing you like that. i just wish i could see that smiling face again, i just want to see you and it’s killing me that i can’t see you anymore. i just want to know exactly how you’re doing, i want to know where you are, i want to see you and talk to you, give you so much love like i used to. my heart is still so broken life will never be the same without you, but promise me that you’re feeling better now that we will see each other again in the next life. will you please be with your family, your friends, and with me tonight? it’s not an easy day as im sure you know, but please let us know that you’re still with us that you haven’t gone anywhere. anyway i will talk to you later my love, i think i need to collect myself and try to get through the rest of the day as happy as i can try to be. i love you so much my beautiful angel, i miss you every single day. i blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? merry christmas, i will see you soon sweetheart. 🖤
Rest Easy Ashton, won’t ever forget you, always on our minds and our hearts.
one year ago today became the day that i hoped would never happen, a year ago today you left this earth and it’s been painful every single day since. this year was not easy in the slightest i changed completely as a person in every single way imaginable, but im okay with that because you took the biggest piece of me with you and i want you to keep it as i hold onto a piece of you forever. ive lost so many people because of what happened to you, i had to remove many friends and family from my life because they didn’t understand what i was and still am going through. they were uncomfortable with the fact that i was grieving the love of my life being gone everyday, they wanted me to fake it and be happy than really show how i was truly feeling. I didn’t need people in my life who weren’t going to be there for me through the most challenging journey of my life so now i only have immediate family, a couple friends, and your family left in my life which im okay with. it’s been a very challenging year battling with my mental health trying to stay strong for you, i didn’t think i would see the end of 2022 and i almost didn’t, but im still here writing to you and i plan to until the day i die. the holidays have been so hard as well without you here, all i ever known was celebrating the holidays with you and your family, im going to forever miss moments like those. it kills me to not be able to know where you are or what you’re doing or if you’re okay, but i really do hope that you’re happy everyday surrounded by so many people who love you or grew to love you overtime. i hope you know how much you’re loved by so many people that were left behind on earth, i hope you know it now if you didn’t know it then and you always will be loved. there isn’t a day that goes by when im not thinking of you, you’re always on my mind you never leave it, you’re always in my heart too i can feel you communicating with me everyday. i would question at times if you were with me especially through the hard days, but you always managed to give me a sign consciously or subconsciously that you were always there. i know you can’t always be there for me everyday not like in the beginning, but please promise me you’ll never truly leave that you will be there for me? i wish i could be there for you still, but maybe i can be when it’s my turn to go, whenever i see you again i can be there for you again. this will be so difficult getting through the day today, but i will try to make it a happy day fully about you doing things you loved to do, because i know you wouldn’t want me to mope around the whole day you want me to be happy. i want to play one of your favorite games persona 5 royal, maybe eat some of your favorite foods, watch your favorite movie avatar, listen to some of your favorite music, etc. i could go on but you get the idea, i want to make this day all about you so you know that im always thinking of you and still feel so much love for you. im sorry you’ve had to see me struggle more than smile this year, i will try to be better about being stronger for you, i know it’ll make you so happy to see me happy. i will check in with your family today as well, i know it won’t be an easy day for them either, please be there for your family too i know it’ll give them comfort knowing you’re there. please take care of yourself as you’re away sweetheart, i want nothing but for you to be happy that’s all i ever wanted for you. i will see you soon i promise you, that’ll make me so happy when i can see you again. i love you baby with my whole heart that you carry with you, i miss you more than you can ever imagine. i blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? i will talk to you later i promise, i will always make sure to talk to you and check in on you. but for now i will let you get back to your day, and i will try to get through mine. 🖤
it’s already been eleven months since you passed away and it seems like the more time passes, the worse it gets the worse i feel. i really am trying to stay strong for you, to continue living my life for you, but im not sure how much longer i can live without you here i miss you beyond anything you could ever imagine. i really am trying to live on for you by going to college next fall, meeting new people, seeing new things. but i can’t help but feel like one day i won’t be strong enough to keep going, that maybe im distracting myself from how im truly feeling, i don’t want to be numb to it i want to feel every inch of the heartache. i wish you could be here with me, i wish i could continue to make you happy here on earth, i guess the universe wasn’t ready for us in this life. i know that we’ll meet in every life we live, i think we’re meant to be with each other in some way in every life, but this time was a lesson that we couldn’t get through. i hope in every bone in my body that in the next life, we will be together and keep it that way. i miss the way you would look at the world, even the dark parts of the world you still saw beauty in it. i miss your beautiful smile, you always lit up a room with that smile of yours. you were so funny you never failed to make me laugh, even if the jokes weren’t always funny, it’s just the way you would say things it would make me laugh. i miss looking into those bright blue eyes, they were so beautiful i could look at them for hours, even when you would want me to stop i still wanted to look. i miss meeting your every need or desire, i always loved studying your love language and making sure you were the happiest you could ever be. i miss sleeping next to you every night, along with waking up next to you every morning. hell i even miss the fights we used to have together, we both didn’t like conflict so most of our fights were so small and stupid, but i miss having those fights with you so we could easily make up with each other. i miss your sweet soft angelic voice, it’s so hard for me to remember it anymore, i have to go back to old videos i have of you/us to remember it. i miss your touch, i always felt safe in your arms like it was just you and me nothing could touch us. i just miss you so much i can say it over and over, but even with words it can’t describe the level of love i have for you or how much i miss you. your family and friends need you, i need you. so please with the learning and growing you have to do wherever you may be, promise me you won’t be far away that you’ll always be here for us? im just so sorry i didn’t help you more, but i can’t keep thinking that way, i want you to be happy no matter where you are. just please never forget me or what we had, i will never forget no matter what and that’s a promise i will keep. i love you with my whole heart that you took with, i blew you a kiss eat it for me okay? i’ll see you soon. 🖤
it’s already been ten months ago today since you left this earth, you can’t even imagine how much i miss you and will forever miss you. i hope you’re doing okay today, i also hope that you’re with your family, your friends, and with me today to help us get through it. it’s truly not easy living without you, all i ever want is for you to be here, i wish i could see you even if it’s just one last time, i would make it last forever and make it count. it’s also been three years ago today since we saw joker in the theatre when it first came out, i remember after we watched the movie we turned to each other and both asked at the same time if we should see it again the next day, then we did just that. i will never forget that day, it was probably your favorite movie we saw together, honestly it’s probably my favorite as well. I miss going on movie theatre dates with you, it will never be the same without you. i also remember we talked about going to see avatar 2 when it came out, because avatar was your favorite movie, but i will make sure to watch avatar 2 for you and let you know what i think of it. i quit my job at the cleaning company i worked for, and got myself a new job at the original pancake house as a hostess, your favorite breakfast place that you and i would eat at every weekend. i also applied to southwestern oregon community college today for the culinary arts program, im really making this happen and im mostly doing this for you but also for me at a certain extent. i wish you could see me progress in life, but i know you’re doing that from afar, and i hope you’re really proud of me for doing all of this in your absence. im sure i’ll get to see and hear the most amazing things you’re accomplishing now and will continue to accomplish one day, i will be so proud of you beyond proud once i reunite with you. i hope you’re being taken care of wherever you may be, i want nothing but love and happiness for you. you’re the love of my life, i will always want what’s best for you, even if it can’t be on earth anymore. i will always love you, no matter where i go or what i do, you’re always going to be a part of me and that will never change. you are the light that shines within my heart, you did that and i thank you for it, and i hope i was the same for you. i’ll let you get back to whatever you have to do, i know you’re a busy soul that has a lot to learn. goodnight my beautiful angel, i love you so much more than life itself. i blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? i know you will, you always do and i don’t have to see it to know. I’ll see you soon my love. 🖤
nine months ago today, my whole world changed. nine months ago today, you were taken away from this beautiful earth. the seventh of december will be the day that forever changed me, the seventh of each month is a constant reminder of what happened to you. im still so sorry from every inch of my heart, i wish i could’ve helped you so much more than i did. im sorry that i failed you when you needed me most, i didn’t know how to completely help you to get you to see light in this dark world, because i had so much hurt inside myself that i was trying to recover from and still am to this day. i knew exactly how you were feeling you didn’t even have to say anything for me to know, but i question myself everyday on why i didn’t go above and beyond to help you, like i would do for you every single day when we were together. i always wish for you to come back, to be here with me and be happy, because you’re the love of my life and you deserve so much love. i always wish to switch places with you, so then you can have another chance to have a very happy life on earth. but i know it doesn’t work like that, so i have to think more logically right now and that’s okay, but know that my heart still has so much love for you that it aches without you here. i realize that it would be wrong to bring you back here if you were given another chance at life, because all of that hurt would be brought back upon you. in a way i think this is what was meant for you, you weren’t ready for this life, but i know in the next life you’ll be more ready than ever for what challenges come your way. i just hope wherever you are you’re always happy, that you’re learning and growing every day, that you’re surrounded by such beautiful people and beautiful things just like you would be on earth. but please promise me to never forget your family, your friends, and me that are still living for you on this earth. i wish i could talk to you in person and know how you’re doing, i wish i could give you the biggest hug and kiss to tell you that i love you that i miss you so much. i know you will do amazing things where you’re at, and i will do amazing things here on earth to make you proud. i went to coos bay, oregon almost 2 weeks ago, i went to go see the culinary school that i am going to attend to next fall, im finally going to be doing what i love. i really hope you’re proud of me, i wish you could’ve been with me to see it physically, it wasn’t easy doing it without you. but im now doing this for you in honor of you, as well as doing this for myself. i will do everything i can in honor of you, to make you proud everyday, see and do the things that you cannot. anyway i should let you rest, we will talk again later my sweet angel i promise. i love you so much more than life itself, i miss you every single day you never leave my mind or my heart. i blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? i will see you soon. 🖤
eight months without you has not been easy in the slightest, it still doesn’t feel real sometimes. i still get emotional like the day you passed on, i don’t know how to truly overcome this. i realized that i won’t, no matter how hard i try to get better for you and for me. i miss you so much baby, i need you here with me everyday, so it still kills me that you’re not here anymore. how are you sweetie? i hope you’re doing okay today, i hope you’re happy everyday now. as much as i want you to be here to be happy here, it’s good that you’re happy now in a place that you can feel infinite peace. i was just thinking about our first date, we went to target on a rainy day. i remember you driving us there with your broken windshield wiper that you never got fixed, so you had to drive with your window open and poke your head out to see. i remember you wanted to get a new tv so you could impress me, you still had your old tv connected to the wall above your bed. you put it together where you keep your gaming setup, then we watched my hero academia. i remember being so happy that day just being with you, that was also when we had our first kiss. now it’s only a memory, a bittersweet one, but it’s something i will always hold onto until the day i die. im not sure if i let you know this or not, but i plan to go to culinary school next fall, i really hope you’re proud of me for doing that. im going to be looking at colleges in oregon at the end of this month, i wish you could go with me and be there with me through my journey. it won’t be the same without you, i need your support, i need your love to get me by. but i know that you’ll be watching me from afar, promise me that you will be with me when im in oregon? i really need you with me, even if it’s spiritually now instead of physically. i also saw quentin on friday, he came into town to visit your grandma. he wanted to go to finley to relive the childhood he had with you, to talk to me about you, about life. we also listened to a speech that your mom gave in california about addiction, she talked about you heavily in that speech, it was so powerful it made me cry. it was good to see your brother after 3 years, that was the last time you ever saw him alive also the first time i ever met quentin. he’s doing so well he’s trying to get his ged, he’s still working at Olive Garden, he has a girlfriend who he’s going to hawaii with this coming week. i hope you’re watching over him, that you’re proud of him for who he’s becoming, what he’s accomplishing while you’re gone. your ashes were also spread at johnson creek, i wish i could’ve been there for that, but i was able to see pictures/videos of it happening. i won’t bother you for too much longer, but it’s always so hard for me to go, but i will continue to write in this guestbook because i love you with everything in me. i hope you have a good day my beautiful angel, we will talk later okay? i love you, i love you, i love you so much my beautiful angel never forget it. i blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? i will send you a lot more love your way a little later today, i will see you very soon. 🖤
happy birthday baby, i truly hope you’re doing okay that you feel so much love and happiness today. i miss you every single day, there’s never a second that goes by each day when i don’t think of you, you’re always on my mind and in my heart. it really kills me to age without you, because you deserve to have an amazing birthday here with everyone that loves you, because you deserve to properly turn 22 today and to celebrate your birthday the way you would desire to. But know that I’ve been celebrating your birthday the way you would want to, I’ve been trying to make it a happy day along with it being truly special. It’s been so hard for me today because all I want is to be with you, I want to see you and give you endless amount of love. I really hope to see you again in another life, to pick things up where we left off. Please rest east my love, you deserve to rest. I’m going to buy a cupcake or something, light a candle, and sing you a happy birthday. I’ll get one of your favorite desserts, and enjoy it for you. I will talk to you before I go to bed tonight, i love you so much my sweet baby. I’m sending you so many kisses your way, catch them and eat them for me. I will see you soon. 🖤🕊
my heart is hurting so much today, it still doesn’t feel real to me that you’re not here anymore. i don’t know how it’s been 7 months ago since you left, i miss you so much my love more than anything in the world. i wish you were still here i need you, you’re the only person that i felt so safe with that i could really talk to and feel okay. it isn’t the same without you, it never will be the same. i keep trying to figure out how to accept this a little more, even with the proof sitting in front of my face daily, i still cannot accept it fully i just can’t. how am i supposed to live my life without you in it? i mean truly live it, because i can choose to do everything right in life, but im still stuck in the same day and i don’t think i can ever get out of it. it hurts so bad that i can’t see you anymore, that i can’t talk to you anymore, that i cannot be with you anymore. it’s so unfair that you were taken away so soon, im not mad at you at all my sweet angel, im so angry with myself and with the universe. i wish i could bring you back, i wish i could’ve helped you so much more even if i thought i was trying with all my might, it still wasn’t enough for you to stay and im so sorry baby. i hope to see you again in another life, i don’t know what id do if i never saw you again, it would kill me. i hope you’re treating yourself with so much kindness along with anyone else you may encounter, that you’re happy and at ease. im excited to see your brother and meet your mom on your birthday, i think it’ll be a fun day but also be a very hard day too. please be there when we celebrate it, knowing you always so stubborn when it came to celebrating you, but i know you’ll appreciate it too despite the stubbornness. not a day goes by when im not thinking about you, i don’t ever want you to think that no one loves you or cares for you, because sweetheart so many people love you i just wish you could’ve seen it for yourself. i know you can see it now, you can feel it now, but im so sorry you couldn’t when you were here and i know a part of it was my fault. please take care of yourself, i want the best for you, even if you’re not here anymore. promise me that we’ll see each other again? anyway i’m going to continue spending the rest of my night in thought and feeling, it’s just hard coming back here sometimes to pour out my heart, but i do it because i want you to know that im still here that i will never forget that i care. i love you so much my beautiful angel and i miss you very much. i blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? i’ll talk to you before i go to sleep tonight, i’ll see you soon. 🖤
It’s insane that you’ve been gone for 6 months now, it still doesn’t feel real to me. I hope you’re doing okay baby, I miss you every single day, I wish I could ask you in person how you’re doing. I’ve learned to accept it a little more that you’re not here anymore, but I can’t help but be in some form of the denial stage, maybe I always will be to a certain extent. I actually had a dream the other day it was the first dream where I acknowledged that you were gone, I dreamt of your family being there for them, your room was empty and just knew you were gone. It was a very sad dream for me, but I guess in a way that’s me accepting it a little more subconsciously, but that doesn’t mean I’m letting you go I’ll always keep you close to me until the day I die. I can’t wait for the day when I can see you again, I hope I will see you again someday, it would break my heart even more if I couldn’t. I hope you’re seeing my growth by going back into society and doing all of the right things, I hope you’re letting me know from afar that you’re proud of me everyday. Mentally and emotionally I’m still living the day after you passed away when I found out, also a week after you passed away when I saw your body I can’t seem to ever get past it, in a way I hope I never do because I don’t want to forget you ever. Quentin has been planning a overnight hiking trip to one of the places that you liked going to as a kid, I’ll be going around your birthday to celebrate your birthday with him and other good people. We’ll also be looking out for your star in a telescope, im sure I’ll be able to spot it just by feeling it in my heart. I wish you could be there with us to celebrate your birthday, I know you would hate it and question why we’re even celebrating your birthday knowing how stubborn you are, but I know you’ll be there because it’ll be a hard day for everyone that loves you. I still wish to this day that this is all a dream, that I’ll wake up to you next to me in each others arms, maybe in another life we can have that again. I hope you know everyday how much I love you, you’re the love of my life and that will never change. I will always have so much love for you, I’m always sending it your way, you also have my heart with you now so I know you’ll take good care of it. I hope you’re doing the best you can be wherever you may be now, i hope you’re surrounded by beautiful things and beautiful people. Even with all of the people I meet in my life, you’ll always be my best friend, the love of my life, my soulmate, my forever person. Even with all of the things I experience in this life, you will always be the best person to have the best thing with, you’ll always be the most beautiful person I know never forget it. I’m going to get back to what I have going on today, but I hope your day is good, I’m trying to have a good day for you. I love you with my whole heart and I miss you like crazy. I blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? I’ll talk to you later, I’ll see you soon darling angel. 🖤
It’s insane that you’ve been gone for 6 months now, it still doesn’t feel real to me. I hope you’re doing okay baby, I miss you every single day, I wish I could ask you in person how you’re doing. I’ve learned to accept it a little more that you’re not here anymore, but I can’t help but be in some form of the denial stage, maybe I always will be to a certain extent. I actually had a dream the other day it was the first dream where I acknowledged that you were gone, I dreamt of your family being there for them, your room was empty and just knew you were gone. It was a very sad dream for me, but I guess in a way that’s me accepting it a little more subconsciously, but that doesn’t mean I’m letting you go I’ll always keep you close to me until the day I die. I can’t wait for the day when I can see you again, I hope I will see you again someday, it would break my heart even more if I couldn’t. I hope you’re seeing my growth by going back into society and doing all of the right things, I hope you’re letting me know from afar that you’re proud of me everyday. Mentally and emotionally I’m still living the day after you passed away when I found out, also a week after you passed away when I saw your body I can’t seem to ever get past it, in a way I hope I never do because I don’t want to forget you ever. Quentin has been planning a overnight hiking trip to one of the places that you liked going to as a kid, I’ll be going around your birthday to celebrate your birthday with him and other good people. We’ll also be looking out for your star in a telescope, im sure I’ll be able to spot it just by feeling it in my heart. I wish you could be there with us to celebrate your birthday, I know you would hate it and question why we’re even celebrating your birthday knowing how stubborn you are, but I know you’ll be there because it’ll be a hard day for everyone that loves you. I still wish to this day that this is all a dream, that I’ll wake up to you next to me in each others arms, maybe in another life we can have that again. I hope you know everyday how much I love you, you’re the love of my life and that will never change. I will always have so much love for you, I’m always sending it your way, you also have my heart with you now so I know you’ll take good care of it. I hope you’re doing the best you can be wherever you may be now, i hope you’re surrounded by beautiful things and beautiful people. Even with all of the people I meet in my life, you’ll always be my best friend, the love of my life, my soulmate, my forever person. Even with all of the things I experience in this life, you will always be the best person to have the best thing with, you’ll always be the most beautiful person I know never forget it. I’m going to get back to what I have going on today, but I hope your day is good, I’m trying to have a good day for you. I love you with my whole heart and I miss you like crazy. I blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? I’ll talk to you later, I’ll see you soon. 🖤
it’s been five months since you passed away, it hurts so much as time continues to go by. i miss you so much baby, i miss you every single day, you’re still on my mind constantly and in my heart too. i got a job last week as a custodian for this cleaning company but specifically clean for target, i hope you’re proud of me for doing that because i wasn’t sure when i would go back into society and work again. it’s part time which is what i can handle for right now mentally/emotionally, the pay is also good too but that doesn’t always matter. that heartbreak still lingers whether im working or not, but i thought maybe i should distract that pain a bit i know it’s what you would’ve wanted for me, but know that i still think of you even when im working. i also will be living on my own with my sister and our friend soon, we’ll be renting out my great aunts house, i hope you’re proud of me for doing that too. it’s hard because we always talked about living together and going forward with our future, but this will be good too i think, i still wish that you could be with me through this. i was supposed to go to the lantern festival today in honor of you, but it had to get pushed back for a few reasons, so we’ll be doing that next year instead. i also have been playing a lot of video games lately, you knowing me that im not the kind of person to always play video games, but lately it’s been giving me comfort it makes me feel like im close to you. i still miss it when you would play video games, you were always so good at them i loved to watch you play, you were always so funny too whenever you’d get mad and yell at your monitor. i miss when you would play video games with me and kick my ass everytime, i would come close sometimes, but i could never beat you. i miss when you were teaching me how to play on your pc, you would laugh whenever id get mad at the monitor just like you would or when id get scared when playing a scary game. i also miss talking to you like we used to everyday, it’s getting hard to remember your voice sometimes, but i will always go back to the videos i have of you talking just to remember and to give me comfort. i hope you’re doing okay wherever you may be now, i still wonder to this day what you’re doing, i always hope for you to be happy and at ease. you deserve so much love and happiness, i hope you know how much love that we still have for you here, and i just know for a fact that wherever you are now you’re so loved there too. i wish you could hug me and tell me everything’s going to be okay, but i know that it can’t be that way for now, i would still give anything to be with you again. i love you with my whole heart, please hold onto it until we meet again. i blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? i’ll talk to you tonight, and i’ll see you soon my beautiful angel. 🖤
yesterday was the last day that i will ever be the same age as you, as of today it’s my birthday and im twenty two years old. this is hard for me because you’re not here, im not ready to get older without you at all, i need you here. i wish you could be here with me on my birthday just like you were with the past three birthdays, this would’ve been the fourth time celebrating my birthday together if you were still here. i can try having a good day, i can try celebrating it as you’re watching from afar, but know that it’ll be very painful. please promise me that you’ll be with me the whole day, i can’t do it without you, i need to know that you’ll be with me. i know you’re wishing me a happy birthday from where you’re at now, i can feel it very deeply so thank you my love. i remember on my nineteenth birthday you got me a dozen roses in a very nice vase which cost more than it should, but i always appreciated the gift even though you knew that i wasn’t much of a gift person. i remember you taking me out to dinner to a nice restaurant, then you drove me to a hilltop to watch the sunset it was beautiful. i remember we had to go back to your house a little early because i wasn’t feeling good, then you carried me in the house like the gentleman you were and took care of me for the rest of the night. i always cherish moments like that, you had such a big heart that’s why i hold onto it to this day, even though we’re in different places now. you always made my birthdays so special, so that’s why this is so hard and it’s going to continue to be going forward, all i want for you is to be here i would give anything for you to be here today. i hope you’re doing okay sweetie, im sending you a lot of love today, and i know you’ll be doing the same for me. goodnight my beautiful angel, i love you and i miss you with all of my heart. i blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? sweet dreams and i’ll see you soon. 🖤
three years ago today we started a beautiful relationship that lasted for about two and a half years, this day will always be our special day. im so happy that you were my first and only love, im so lucky that i met my soulmate, even more lucky that i could go through thick and thin with my soulmate. you’re so special to me sweetheart, you will always be my love, my warmth, my safe place. my heart has only room to love once, so im very happy to know that all of that love goes to you, you will always be the love of my life no matter where we are or what circumstance. i know we can’t celebrate it together, but i still did something special for us, i just hope that you were here with me to see it. i made a nice dinner at home, i made gnocchi with red sauce and cheese on top. it was pretty good, it’s actually my favorite food. i know that you would’ve enjoyed it if you could be here to try it, you always liked my cooking. i also made these mini cheesecake brownie bites for dessert, it could’ve been baked for a couple more minutes, but other than that they were really good. i know you would’ve enjoyed those too, you also liked my baking just as much as my cooking. now im having a movie night with my puppy holiday, i know you would’ve loved to be here for that too, maybe you are just not physically. so far this month has been very hard for me not having you here, especially celebrating our anniversary in different places now it kills me, but ill make sure to celebrate our special day for as long as i live even after death. i hope you’re doing something special for me wherever you are now, i wish i could see it, i know i would absolutely love it if i could. im sending you all of my love right now, so many hugs and kisses headed your way, i hope you can handle all of that. i wish we could’ve went to a nice restaurant tonight and go see a movie in the theatre, it was our favorite thing to do when we were together, especially on our special day. im holding you so close to my heart, im missing you more than anything right now, i can’t wait to see your smiling face again. happy anniversary baby, three years and forever more, i love you with all of my heart. i blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? ill see you soon. 🖤
how has it already been four months ago today since you left this life? i hate that time continues to fly by the way it has been, i also hate that living life feels very slow too. i miss you so much my love, it’s still feels like yesterday since you left. i wish i could be with you right now, i wish i could be with you everyday honestly, you’re the only person i ever want to be around anymore. ive been thinking about you all day sweetheart, all of the memories are flowing through again, it hasn’t been easy to relive those memories without you by my side. i remember when i had blue hair for a few months, you used to call me your blueberry, even when I went back to my natural color you would still call me your blueberry. i remember on our two year anniversary when we were about to check in the hotel, my shoe was untied so you stopped everything you were doing to tie my shoe without me asking you to do so. i remember this old couple walking past us telling you how you were such a gentleman also asking how long we’ve been together for, then you said for two years going on three. that made me so happy when you said that because i saw a lifetime with you, now in two days im celebrating our three year anniversary without you, that kills me inside because we should be celebrating it together. im not ready to go through any of this alone, i need you more than anything, im always going to need you even if you’re somewhere else. i finally put the pictures your family gave me of the two of us on your twentieth birthday in frames, now they can be hung up in my room as they should be instead of sitting on my nightstand along with everything else that i have of you. i find myself looking at those pictures noticing how the both of us were so happy that day, that was a good day i wish i can go back and relive that day with you. in every picture you had your lakers hat on, that was your favorite hat you always wore it even if we were lounging around at home, i hope your lakers hat is kept in your room along with the rest of your things. i hope you’re doing okay my beautiful angel, that you feel nothing but happiness everyday. i hope you know that you’re still so loved by your family, friends, and me in this life. i also hope you know that you’re loved by everyone you’re surrounded around wherever you are now, you deserve everything and so much more, i always believed that. i still hope to see you again soon, i miss you with my whole heart that you keep, i still want you to be the first person i see when i go. no matter what please never leave me, it would kill me inside, please be here with me through my journey i need you in it. i’ll let you rest now, im sure you have a lot ahead of you tomorrow. goodnight my sweet angel, i love you more than life itself. i blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? i’ll be dreaming of you tonight, just like every night. i’ll see you soon. 🖤
I’m missing you so much tonight my sweet angel, my heart is forever broken. I wish you were still here with us, life is truly not the same without you here, everything made sense with you in it. In six days it’ll be four months ago since you passed, it’s absolutely killing me inside. Also in eight days it would’ve been our three year anniversary, and seventeen days until my twenty second birthday. It pains me so much that we can’t celebrate our anniversary together anymore in this life, I also don’t want to grow older without you knowing that you’ll always stay twenty one, I’m not ready for it. I wish I could give you the biggest hug right now I really need one from you, it felt like nothing and no one could touch us that it was just you and me against the world. I miss having long and deep conversations with you, we’d always have them right about now before we would fall asleep next to eachother. I wish I could still hear you yelling at your monitor, yelling at whatever video game you were playing, keeping me awake at night I didn’t mind it. I always wonder what you’re doing wherever you are, it hurts knowing that you know what I’m doing, but I can’t know what you’re doing. I just wish I could see you, that I could be with you, it’s so painful living life without you in it. I’m really happy you came into my life when you did, you stayed in my life for as long as you could, but I needed you to stay I need you my love. But I know you’re a lot happier wherever you may be now, you deserve all of the happiness that you receive, I’m just sorry you didn’t always feel that happiness when you were here. I will never be angry at you for leaving because I understand and I’m proud of you no matter what, I’m angry at the universe for taking you away so soon. I know that we’ll meet again soon, we’ll be together again, we’ll both be happy. I hope you’re taking it easy my love, may you continue to rest. Goodnight sweetheart I love you and I miss you with every piece of my heart, I blew you a kiss eat it for me okay? I’ll be dreaming of you tonight, just like I have been everyday for almost four months. I’ll see you soon my love. 🖤
it’s already been three months ago today since you left this life, it still doesn’t feel real to this day. i miss you so much my sweet angel, more than you will ever know. i wish you could still be here today, i wish i could still wake up to the sight of your beautiful gentle face, but maybe in the next life we can do that again. i have my sisters dogs staying with me for awhile, i know millie and max miss you very much, it made me so happy whenever they’d get so excited to see you even though that annoyed you a lot of the time which was funny to me. i talk to the dogs about you all the time, even to the new puppy that has been with me for almost three months that you haven’t met, her name is holiday hope but we just call her hope sometimes holiday as a joke, i just know she would’ve loved you if she could have the chance to meet you. i know you would’ve loved her too she’s a good dog, even though she’s full of energy all the time it probably would annoy you a bit. if you were here with me today, i would make you your favorite foods and serve them to you in bed while you play on the ps4, that always made me so happy. i hope where you are now you’re eating all of your favorite foods and playing as many games as you want all the time, i know that’s when you were the happiest when you were here. quentin and i were actually talking about recently about what you do everyday now, we think that you have your own pc where you’re at with monitors for each person you love in this life that you play in whichever life you want. i know that might not be what you’re doing everyday, but we like to imagine and laugh about it. i wish i could give you the biggest hug and kisses all over your face right now, and tell you how proud of i am of you every single day like i would when you were here. i need you my love, i always need you, and it kills me that i can’t see you anymore in this life or talk to you anymore in person. whenever i see you again, i really hope you’re the first person that i see, because im going to give you the biggest hug and tell you about everything that you missed. i’ll let you get back to what you’re doing today, im sure you have a lot to do. i hope you have a good day sweetheart, i love you with all of my heart. i blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? i’ll talk to you tonight before i go to sleep, i’ll see you soon. 🖤
I miss you so much sweetheart, definitely missing you extra tonight. The tears are just pouring out from holding them back, from trying to be strong for you. It breaks my heart hearing from your brother that he wished we had the future we always wanted, that we always talked about together. He was telling me that he wished we had a kid, that you would’ve been an amazing father because it’s true. He really saw us being together in the long run, which was truly what I wanted was you in my future. Maybe in another life we can be together again, we can have that future that we always wanted together. You will always be the love of my life, that love will never leave, you carry my whole heart now please take good care of it until we meet again. Times like these I wish I could physically see you, I know you’d hug me so tight, wipe my tears away, and tell me you’re not going anywhere. I know you’re here with me even though you passed on, I’m always afraid one day you won’t be and I hope that never happens. I hope you’re doing okay my love, that the smile on your face is always shining through. That’s all I ever want for you now is unconditional happiness, that you’re always smiling, knowing that you’re truly loved by many people. I love you with every piece of my heart, I was in love with you the very first day I saw you, I was in love with you the very last time I saw you, and I’m still in love with you to this day even if I can only feel you now. Never forget how much love there is for you from my heart, how much you meant to me, how much what we had meant to me. I will never forget you my beautiful angel, it would kill me if I ever forget one day, but I know I’ll always have you with me in memory in my heart. Rest easy my sweet angel, you deserve it so much. I love you and I miss you, I blew you a kiss eat it for me okay? I’ll see you soon. 🖤
Happy Valentine’s Day to the love of my life, my soulmate, my best friend, and now my forever angel that’s always close by in a way that I can only feel. I miss you more than words that could be said, more than feelings that could be expressed. I wish we could’ve spent our third Valentine’s Day together, we could’ve went to dinner and a movie like we would do each one we spent together. I definitely miss the love you gave me, you always made me feel so special. I can still feel your love for me it’s so strong, I just wish I could touch your love or see it in person. I will always miss giving you the love I have for you each day, you had my whole heart when you were on earth, and you still have my heart even when we’re in two different places at once. You’re the only love I will ever need wherever I go in life, I don’t need another one I’m satisfied with the love I have for you. I’ll always be satisfied with the love you gave to me, that you continue to give to me even if I can’t see you. I hope you feel so much love wherever you are now, that you see so much beauty through your beautiful blue eyes, that you feel happy with your new knowledge and growth. I hope to see you again, that you’re the first person I see when I go. I’ll always find you if I can’t see you right away, but I’m confident that I will see you again. I hope we’ll be together again whenever I go, I will make sure to not let you go a second time. Please get some rest my sweet angel, it’s well deserved right now. Goodnight my forever valentine, I love you with everything in me. I blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? I’ll see you soon.🖤
I can’t believe it’s already been two months ago today since you left this earth, Ashton my love I miss you so much more than anything right now. I wish you didn’t have to go so soon, leaving everyone in your life behind when you did, leaving me behind. I wish everyday that you could come back to me, but I know it doesn’t work that way. I wish that you could be with me right now, my heart is so broken without you here in my life. I miss our late night conversations when we would lay in bed as we held eachother, I could talk to you for hours on end and that’s because I was so safe with you. I could look into your eyes and listen to you talk all day long about absolutely anything, I was never bored of you how could I be? I was so in love with you I always wanted to be a part of your life in any single way possible, the saddest thing is that im still in love with you and constantly wish that I could still be in your life, but you left too soon and I always ask the universe “why?”. I could never be upset with you for leaving, I love you too much and I understand why you had to leave. I’m just angry at the universe for taking you away from me, your family, and your friends because it just isn’t fair. I wish we could just be in your room right now having a movie night or watching you play games on the pc or have long conversations late at night laughing together or even just holding eachother feeling that love for one another until we fell asleep. I wish I didn’t just have you in pictures, videos, memories, connecting through our souls, and dreams. But I know that it’s better than not having you with me in any single way, but I can’t help it when I still want you here when I still need you here. I hope you’re learning and growing every day wherever you may be now, I hope you feel all of the happiness that you very much deserve because you truly do. Please always stay close to me, please don’t forget how much love I have for you. I can feel your love for me every single day, I feel comfort knowing that you still have love for me, that you took a piece of me with you. I will always carry you with me, I will always find you in every life we live my love, those are promises that I will keep forever. It’s so hard to live without you sweetheart, but I really am trying for you. I know we’ll see eachother again I can feel it, I know we’ll be together again. Please rest easy tonight, and I will try to do the same. Goodnight my sweet angel baby, I love you with my whole heart. I blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? I’ll see you soon. 🖤
Ashton my love, I’m missing you so much tonight it hurts. The days have not been getting any easier without you, but the nights are still when it hits me the hardest. I keep asking myself when does it get easier? I don’t think it ever will, living on without you has been leaving me feeling empty inside, it truly doesn’t sit right with me at all. I wish that you could be here with me now, I miss sleeping next to you every night. I just wish things were different, I wish I could go back in time and help you. I really hope you’re doing well as you learn and grow, you deserve all of the happiness in the world. I’m going to Idaho for the weekend with my family, I’ll try to have a good time while I’m there, do things and see things that you couldn’t before you left. Well I need to get some sleep now, I have to be up early in the morning for the trip. Goodnight my beautiful angel, I love you with all of my heart and I miss you with every piece of me. I blew you a kiss, eat it for me okay? Rest easy tonight sweetheart, I’ll see you soon. 🖤
I’m missing you so much right now my love, it still feels unreal that you’re not here anymore. I wish I could see your beautiful face again with a smile so contagious, to hear your sweet voice that I could listen to all day, to feel your soft touch to feel that warmth once more. I can only have you in my dreams, in my memories, in pictures and videos now which is better than nothing. But I could give anything just to have you here with me again, even if it was just for one day I’d make that day a happy one for you. I just miss you with every piece of me and will continue to until my last day. I love you with my whole heart, you have my heart and you always will until I can see you again. It has been so hard continuing my journey without you physically here with me, but I really am trying to hang in there for you sweetheart. This past month going on 2 months has not been easy at all, I don’t think it’s going to get any easier anytime soon and that’s okay I’m okay with holding onto that pain. You’re always on my mind, not a second goes by when you’re not in my thoughts. You’re always in my heart, that love for you will never go away, even if we’re in two different places right now. You’re soul will always be connected with mine, and I’ll continue to find you in each life we live, because it’s always been you. Please take care of yourself wherever you’re at now, I just want you to be happy always. I know I’ll see you again I can feel it, but for now we’ll both have to wait. Goodnight my beautiful angel, I love you with everything in me. Rest easy tonight my love, you deserve it. I’ll be seeing you. 🖤
I can’t find the words to say. I just know you will be missed dearly.
Ashton my sweetheart, it’s been exactly a month today since you passed away. It feels like time is just passing by, but I’m living life in slow motion. It has not been an easy month whatsoever, it has been full of heartbreak, but there’s no rush in the grieving process. There have been a lot of sleepless nights, a loss of appetite, lots of crying, and finding any motivation for anything like getting out of bed in the morning for example. There’s not all bad to what happened, I feel your presence strongly every single day. I feel us communicating through our souls all the time, we’re always expressing our love to each other through our hearts. I feel you with me the most when I speak to you every night, and every morning when I wake up. I also know when you’re here with me when it’s colder than usual in my room, when I constantly feel cold to the touch, when I feel you touch my arm or my back, and when I see you in my dreams. Even if you’re physically gone in this life, you’ll never really feel gone to me, your soul is always around I feel you everywhere I go. Thank you for watching over me love, for comforting me through my continuation in life, especially on the harder days when I think I can’t go on you’ll tell me that it’ll be okay. I wish that you could live life with me, experience the world with me, but I’ll do that for you as you watch from afar. There isn’t a second that goes by when I don’t think of you, I couldn’t ever forget you, how amazing you were as a person. I could never forget the impact you put on my life, you showed me true happiness and love. I could never forget the memories we’ve created together, I always look back at our pictures/videos or tell a story about you, all I can do is laugh or smile. I could never forget your beautiful smiling face that was so contagious, your bright blue eyes that were so gentle, your golden blonde hair that felt so soft. I could never forget the love I felt for you in those 2 years and 3 months we created together, that I still feel to this day. You will never leave my mind or my heart, I will make sure your memory stays alive, that’s what you deserve. I plan to make a scrapbook with developed pictures of the two of us also individual ones of you, so I have something to look back on and always remember you by. I’m also going to get one of the poems you wrote in your handwriting tattooed on me in honor of you my darling angel. Please wait for me my love, I will see you when my time comes, that will be something I look forward to being with you again. I love you with every fiber of my being, and I miss you so much more than you will ever know. I’ll be seeing you.🖤
Happy New Year my sweet angel, I’m thinking about you extra tonight. I can’t believe I’m going into the new year without you in it, but I know that you’ll be watching over me as I move forward into it. I’m going to continue to carry you with me as I continue my journey in this life, I will never stop holding onto that love I have for you in my heart. I remember whenever I’d always leave your house after spending days with you at a time, you would stand in the door way and I’d be in my car. We’d wave at eachother from a distance with the biggest smiles on our faces, you’d blow me a kiss and I’d catch it everytime. But everytime I blew a kiss right back at you, you’d catch it and eat my kiss. It makes me laugh so hard thinking about that right now, I’ll always think of the little things that make me the happiest. I blew you a kiss when the clock struck 12, you better have caught it and ate it for me. I really wish that you could be here with me now, it just isn’t the same without you here by my side. But I look forward to falling asleep tonight, at least I still have you in my dreams, I dream about you every single night. With that being said, I think I’ll be getting some sleep soon. Goodnight my beautiful angel, I love you and I miss you with every piece of my heart. I can’t wait to see you again, to be together again. 🖤
Merry Christmas to the love of my life, I’m thinking about you extra today. It’s been so hard celebrating Christmas without you this year, but I made sure to still try to celebrate it in a positive light even if I didn’t want to. It’s funny I was talking to my mom a few days before Christmas about wanting to go to a lantern festival in post falls, Idaho in honor of you, well she got me tickets for that festival as a last minute Christmas present because she knew it was important to me she also wanted to do something special for you. My family and I will be going to that lantern festival on may 7th, exactly 5 months after your passing and it’s in honor of you my sweet angel. I really hope your Christmas was filled with a lot of love, beauty, peace, and joy wherever you are now, I hope Christmas as each year passes is like that for you. I love you with my whole heart, I miss you like crazy. Theres not a day that goes by when I don’t think of you, whenever I need to talk to you I just look up and you’re there. Have a good night my darling angel, I’ll see you soon. 🖤
Merry Christmas Eve my beautiful angel, I’m really missing you extra tonight. I’m currently outside looking at the beautiful night sky as I’m writing this to you now. The holidays really will not feel the same without you as the years go by. I’ll miss spending Christmas Eve with you, William, your parents, and the Bailey’s. I’ll also miss spending Christmas morning with you and your family watching all of you open gifts, also exchanging gifts with eachother. I definitely do miss spoiling you like I would each Christmas we spent together, I always loved seeing your beautiful smiling face as you opened your gifts that I would get you. I hope your Christmas wherever you are now is so beautiful, you deserve to be so happy. I love you with my whole heart sweetheart, I will see you again soon. 🖤
Ashton my love, I will always cherish the 2 years and 3 months we spent together. You were my first relationship, my first love, my first everything. I will forever miss your sweet face, your beautiful smile, your laugh, your voice, your warmth, your comfort, your smart ass comments, your big heart. I keep thinking about the times when I would stay over at your place, you’d play video games for hours on end always yelling at the game. I remember always turning towards you to either tell you to lower your voice or come to bed. i remember how we would always go on late night drives, go to the gas station for snacks & drinks, then come home and have a movie night. i remember you always messing with me just to make me mad, but it would be in a playful way whenever I’d get mad. You always messed with me by tickling me, wrestling me, chasing me around the house, trying to scare me while I’d try to sleep. I always remember you using your fighting moves on me whenever we’d be at the Bailey’s house watching UFC, UFC fights won’t ever be the same without you there. It’s the little things I think about that I’ll miss the most, I think of the important things that we did together too. Life will never be the same without you in it, especially the holidays. I spent every holiday with you, every birthday, every family event. Thank you for including me in your life, always making me feel welcome like I was family. I will forever miss giving you that unconditional love, joy, laughter, and companionship. I am so sorry that I wasn’t there for you more, I tried to be as much as I could. I just hope you know that I really did try to give you a break from all of your demons, even if it was only for 2 years and 3 months. I tried to help you the last month before you passed, but it wasn’t enough. I hope you know that I will always love you, that you’ll always have a place in my heart. I’ll always think of you how special you were to me, even in the last moment I had with you I will always cherish that last goodbye. I will try to stay strong for you, I will live life to the fullest for the both of us. I will stay close by to your family in this time, I will take good care of them, I know they’ll do the same for me. I will always think of you in the cold winter breeze, that’s when I’ll feel you most. I’ll always think of you on a warm sunny day, summer was always your favorite season. I’ll always think of you when I see a video game ad, or a sport that you loved so much. I will never forget you my love, you were my best friend, my soulmate. Please watch over your family, your friends, and me we all love you and miss you. May you rest peacefully now my beautiful angel, I will see you soon. 🖤
Ashton I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when I know you needed me most you were my first friend and bestfriend after I moved here I miss you everyday I hope your beating kobe for me ❤️ I miss you brother
Ashton you always made me laugh and smile and always asked me how I was doing you were an amazing friends and I miss you so much. I miss you laugh and smile you always made me be in a better mood. Thanks you for every thing !
Ashton, I forgive you for everything and I hope you know that. We were young and stupid and I know that we both changed after high school. I regret not answering you Snapchat a few months ago. But most of all, I forgive you. You made choir so much fun and your jokes always made me laugh so so hard. You always had the best smile and laugh. Wherever you are now, thank you for your everything.
Ashton, my sweet friend, I will never forget the endless laughs and late night drives. I miss your sarcasm, dumb jokes, and especially your laugh. I will forever cherish those memories. JJ is not the same without you, we all miss you. I’m so glad i got the privilege to meet you. Even though our time was cut short, i know i will see you again some day. I will forever keep you in my heart. Rest easy Ash, love you.
I’m going to miss going into work and seeing your smile, cracking jokes with you and being able to talk to you about anything and everything. Thank you for always listening to me on my good & bad days, thank you for always making me laugh, and thank you for being you. You won’t ever be forgotten, we love you so much Ashton 🤍
i miss you so much ashton, you’re the reason i’m still here. i’ll think of you till i see you again
Miss you, Ashton. See you later,
Ashton was a reason I came to work, even when I wanted to quit. He was always there with a wise crack and a smile. I considered him family, as many of us did. We didn’t just lose a coworker, we lost a brother.
He was so loved, by me and by all his comrades here at JJ. He brought us together, and I will always be thankful for that. Coming to work isn’t the same, but I feel you with us still. My heart goes out to the family during this time. Please know Ashton made an impact that will last, and he will never be forgotten. Rock on Ashton, I’ll see you on the other side 💕
I looked up to you from a very young age, wanting to be as charismatic and comfortable as you in elementary school, up until graduation. I looked forward to seeing you on the bus every day, and you were a first crush for my silly elementary school self. It was wonderful seeing you flourish more in high school and I will never forget your sarcastic comments and wide smile. You left a lasting imprint on this world, and I know me and my classmates will never forget what it was like to have you around. Rest easy in a world with all of the time to continue doing what you love. Thank you. You will be dearly missed.
Ashton, we never knew each other that well, but it never felt like that. Every conversation with you was like we had known each other for years, and I knew you understood exactly where I was in life, without having to say anything. Rest easy. Your smile will be missed, until we can all see it again.
Ashton was a day one friend, all the way back to elementary. He’d be one of the first people who would talk to me when I was shy to talk to others. Ever since then we made each other laugh everyday on the school bus on our way to school and on our way back home. When we got to high school, we didn’t have a lot of classes together but we always made sure we at least said high when we saw one another. Then we parted ways after graduation but I never forgot about Ashton. And I’ll always keep remembering him. Rest easy Ashton, you will be missed and remembered by all your loved ones.
Ive watched you grow up since elementary along with our classmates. You were so funny and always had a sarcastic comeback and i can so clearly remember that big smile of yours. i hope you’re cracking jokes above and you wont ever be forgotten. I had the privilege to meet you and get to know you and i will continue to carry your memories and smiles with me and share them to anyone and everyone. Rest easy man, You’re very missed
Ashton, you were an amazing friend that knew how to make people laugh and laugh. I’m glad that I got the privilege of knowing you for as long as I did. You were a true friend. I remember one memory that will always stick with me was how supportive you were with me and lots of people. You will be missed beyond measure.